


A Nice Hot Breakfast

by ScullyGolightly



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Episode: s07e12 X-Cops, F/M, Turtleneck!Mulder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 17:58:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20430095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScullyGolightly/pseuds/ScullyGolightly
Summary: Mulder and Scully try to decompress after their action-filled night on the streets of Los Angeles





	A Nice Hot Breakfast

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RationalCashew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RationalCashew/gifts).

> For the wonderful Cate @rationalcashew (twitter) // RationalCashew (AO3)
> 
> Prompt: "Pre-, post-, or in between the S7 episode, X-Cops. Bonus points if Steve & Edy harass Mulder about his relationship with Scully and if you: make me laugh, make me smirk, & make me say “d’awww.” I’m on the SoSS train so you’re safe in assuming that I assume they’re in a relationship."
> 
> Cate, I was really gunning for those bonus points! I hope you like it.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Mulder and Scully of The X-Files. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and 20th Century Fox.  
Dialogue from "X-Cops" was written by Vince Gilligan.

Dawn brightened above them in a mix of gray sunlight and a particular smoggy haze native only to the Los Angeles sky. The air had a stale quality to it, a kind of burnt-out scent, or that could have been them, as they were worse for the wear, spending all night traipsing the gritty Southern California streets. It was winter and cold, but humid, too, which added to the unpleasantness. Factoring in their exhaustion and disappointment at the lack of a resolution, the two agents were ready to call it a night, or day, as it was.

“You didn’t get the proof that you wanted, Mulder,” said Scully, sounding disappointed for him.

Mulder pointed to the camera and quipped with a touch of optimism, “Well, hey, you know, it all depends on how they edit it together.”

“It’s going to be a hard one to write up,” she groused.

“Let’s not worry about that now. I think we deserve a nice hot breakfast. Whaddya say, Scully? My treat.”

Scully shrugged apathetically but the corners of her mouth were curled upward in a tight-lipped grin. She was too tired to keep up her annoyance from the night’s events, and Mulder’s good cheer was rubbing off on her. Mulder smiled as if he could see her make the decision to give in to him and his offer, then he affectionately put his arm around her, prompting Scully to look around to make sure the cozy action wasn’t caught on tape. Thankfully, the thorns in her side, also known as the _ COPS _ camera crew, had retreated down the street. “Miss them already, huh?” teased Mulder.

Scully huffed out a chuckle. “Oh yeah, definitely” came out dripping with sarcasm. 

“All right, my little TV starlet,” Mulder said, steering them towards their rental car. Scully glared at him and Mulder ducked his head in mock deflection of her powerful rays. “Oh, Scully, those Bette Davis eyes.”

She tried to maintain her fierce stare, but he was just too adorable and she cracked, grinning and laughing.

“C’mon, I know just the place.” Mulder opened the passenger door for her and then went around to the driver’s side. 

He put the key in the ignition and started the engine, beginning to navigate the waking streets of Willow Park. Scully glanced at him sideways, admiring his handsome profile. “You really got a kick out of being on television, didn’t you, Mulder?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I did.”

“You should have your own show. _ The X-Files, _ one man’s pursuit for the truth,” she said, waving her hand in front of her like she could see it in studio lights. “Coming this fall to Fox.”

“You make a good announcer, Scully. But, it wouldn’t be one man’s pursuit. It would be us—a team—one a believer and one a skeptic. This would actually make a great show,” said Mulder, now thinking more seriously about it. “Forget breakfast, let’s go storm the Fox offices and pitch our idea.”

Scully grinned and he could see it in his periphery. “Mulder, you promised me a nice hot breakfast at some undisclosed location about which you seem very smug.” He turned and wagged his eyebrows at her animatedly. 

He spotted their destination ahead and changed lanes. “Feeling randy, Scully?”

“Excuse me?”

He nodded at the establishment in the way of an explanation and pulled into the brightly lit parking lot. Scully was hunched, peering up to try and see the whole of the giant donut through the front windshield. The round structure sat three stories high atop a humble little bakery with ‘Randy’s Donuts’ emblazoned on the enormous plaster replica. “What goes better with _ COPS _ than donuts?” 

“Not really what I imagined when you said a ‘nice hot breakfast,’” Scully answered and got out of the car to fully take in the glory of the iconic roadside attraction. 

“I believe freshly fried rings of dough qualify as a hot breakfast,” he retorted.

She looked up at him as he approached her. “Pfft, getting by on a technicality,” she tsked. 

“Seven years together, Scully, and I don’t even know what kind of donut you like. Raised glazed? Rainbow sprinkles?” Her right eyebrow darted up. “Okay, no to the sprinkles,” he noted, chuckling under his breath. “Jelly-filled?” He playfully poked her in the ribs. Scully made a face, stifling a giggle. “No? Cinnamon roll?” She shook her head, somewhat surprised that he hadn’t guessed it yet. “But you are my little cinnamon roll, aren’t you, Scully?” Mulder winked at her and brushed a strand of cinnamon-red hair away from her face, tucking it tenderly behind her ear. 

Scully caught herself before she got pulled into gold-green pools of his eyes. “You better stop calling me your ‘little’ anything, Mulder,” she warned.

He grinned widely at her and resisted the urge to call her his little firecracker. Then it came to him. “Oh! I got it,” he declared confidently. “The maple bar. The chic, no-nonsense, sophisticated, woodsy maple bar.”

“Woodsy?”

He shrugged. Mulder would never have thought that Scully’s favorite donut flavor would be such a mystery to him. It was nice though, being kept on his toes by this woman with whom he was so utterly in love and who he completely adored. Scully just smirked and left him standing there wondering as she walked up to the entrance. He followed after her, putting his hand at the small of her back as they went inside. 

There was a loud shriek and they swiveled their heads in its direction. “It’s our FBI agents!” exclaimed Edy. She was sitting next to Steve on one side of a booth in the corner. Mulder and Scully waved; they were genuinely happy to see the couple that had provided some much-needed levity to their hectic night. Overcome with excitement, Edy jumped up from her seat and jauntily strode over to them, her afghan billowing around her, an emerald turban wrapped neatly on her head. “Of all the donut shops in all the towns in all the world…” she said with cinematic flare. “Come dine with us, please.”

“Ah, leave ‘em alone, Edy,” called out Steve, still casually seated at their table. 

“No, no, no. They are eating with us!” she commanded, literally putting her foot down in a theatrical fashion.

“We would love to,” Mulder said. “Let us order and then we’ll join you.” 

“Okay, but, Agent Mulder, beware,” she warned ominously and rather dramatically, piquing his attention. “Stay away from the ...bear claws! Grr!” Edy pitched toward him, her fingers curled to mimic claws—but she could only manage to hold her pose for a beat or two before erupting into a loud cackle that had both Steve and Scully laughing along with her, and eventually Mulder who had been briefly fooled.

“You got me,” he said good-naturedly. 

“I sho did,” stated Edy cockily over her shoulder as she made her way back to the booth. 

Mulder turned to Scully and put his hand on his chest, pretending to calm his racing heart. “She got you,” Scully affirmed. 

He nodded and then motioned to the display case, row after row of sugary, fried confections lined up so prettily. “So what’ll it be, Scully? I can’t take the suspense any longer.”

“One Old Fashioned, please,” she said to the young woman behind the counter.

“Ah man! I can’t believe I didn’t guess that.”

“And what’s your donut of choice, Mulder?” asked Scully. She was now curious, too. 

“Aren’t you gonna guess?” Mulder pouted.

She pursed her lips trying to conceal a smile—his playfulness was really infectious. “Um,” she said looking at the plethora of options. “Devil’s Food?”

“Ha ha ha,” he grumbled in sarcastic monotone and she tossed him a teasing glance.

“Okay, crumb.”

“Why crumb?”

“I don’t know. ‘Cause you’re messy?” She was having fun with this.

“What? Me? Messy? Never,” Mulder scoffed. “But, yes, you’re right.” He hung his head in faux defeat.

“Yes!” Scully exclaimed victoriously.

Mulder humbly asked for a crumb donut along with two coffees and paid the cashier, then they joined Steve and Edy at the corner booth.

“Ah, the maple bar,” Mulder said pointing to the remnants of Edy’s donut. “Very sophisticated.”

“Mhmm, I think so,” Edy agreed, flipping non-existent hair over her shoulder.

“So did you catch whoever you were looking for?” asked Steve who was picking at an apple fritter.

Scully shook her head and Mulder confirmed it with a deflated “No.”

“Was it gangbangers? Or that nasty ass pimp, Chuco?”

Scully looked expectantly at Mulder and he self-consciously hesitated before loosely explaining his theory. “It wasn’t a person. It was something that feeds off of fear—a fear monster if you will.”

“Oh lord!” cried Edy. Steve and Scully shot each other a commiserating glance. “A fear monster, my goodness!” She fanned her face and made a display of wiping her brow with a napkin. Composing herself, Edy addressed each of them at the table, “Well, see here, the four of us are sitting here at Randy’s eating donuts at 5:30 in the mornin’ because of one thing we have in common.”

“What’s that?” asked Mulder.

Edy looked lovingly at Steve. “We all have a partner that makes us feel safe.”

Mulder and Scully shifted in their seats, their knees touching under the table, as they shared a private smile that wasn’t so private to Edy’s perceptive and prying eyes.

He caught her scrutinizing gaze and cleared his throat. “Steve. Edy. Help me settle something. Don’t you think Scully would look good with bubblegum pink hair?”

“Oh why yes, of course she would!” Edy asserted with confidence, but then trained her eyes on Scully. “But, honey, you don’t change that gorgeous Titian hair for nobody, okay?”

Scully smiled and nodded. “Okay.”

“Unless _ you _ want to. Promise your Auntie Edy.”

“I promise.”

“Now you settle something for us,” said Edy, gesturing to Mulder. “You wear them turtlenecks because you know you look damn sexy in ‘em or you hiding hickies from this one here?” She moved her finger to point at Scully.

Mulder adjusted the neck of his sweater, amused and embarrassed. “Uh…”

“Look!” Steve said, motioning to a mortified Scully. “Look at her cheeks.”

Steve and Edy nudged each other with their shoulders and said in unison, “Bubblegum pink!”

“The FBI may not have nothing to hide but you two sho do!” razzed Steve.

Scully sunk down in her seat and hid behind her coffee cup, glaring at Mulder who was chuckling beside her. Didn’t she explicitly tell him that she did not want to look foolish? She had meant that in a general sense, not just because of the cameras. 

Steve and Edy had them pegged. Mulder’s neck was, in fact, sporting several love bites put there by a ravenous Scully during some spirited afternoon sex in the motel as they had waited for night to fall.

“You two are quite the investigators,” complimented Mulder, which, in turn, confirmed their suspicions.

“Oh sweetie,” Edy said to Scully. “Don’t you be embarrassed. Y’all make a lovely couple.”

“That’s high praise coming from you,” said Mulder, feeling safe to put his arm around Scully now that the jig was up. “Isn’t it, Scully?” 

He jostled her lightly and she softened, leaning into him and smiling bashfully—her present company was pleasant and she was having a good time despite the fact that her and Mulder’s carnal familiarity had been so easily noticed by two strangers. She pushed her worry back that it was noticeable to others, like for example, their boss who could officially reprimand them for their behavior. That stress could be dealt with at a later time, though. For now, she wanted to enjoy this nice hot breakfast with her nice, hot boyfriend and two very sweet people who had assisted them in their search for a werewolf turned wasp man turned Freddy Krueger turned killer pimp turned the improbable Hantavirus and back to the goddamn wasp man.

It had been a chaotic night, for sure, but she was safe and she was loved by the man sitting next to her and if this delightful couple could see it, then that was fine with her.


End file.
